Do homeschooled children lack social skills and emotional intelligence?

Some kids are homeschooled because they were bullied or had other social issues at school. And, from my experience, these kids do tend to be a little socially challenged. And then people observe these kids and assume it’s the homeschooling that is the cause when often it’s the school that was.

My own 3 homeschooled kids, aged 10–14, are socially fine. My two daughters are highly-confident. My son is slightly reserved but less than I was at his age – and I went to school. They meet friends frequently, but, sure, they don’t meet 500 other kids for 150 days a year like school kids do.

In fact, a reason I started homeschooling the kids was that I spent some time with a homeschooled family and was shocked by the fact the kids were so confident. It blew away my misconceptions.

You see, homeschooled kids aren’t usually bullied, so they have an inner confidence that bullying often knocks out of school kids. And that helps them socially.

One of my daughters was briefly and lightly bullied when she used to go to school – and for those few weeks, her confidence collapsed. The problem was resolved after a gentle discussion with one of the teachers, but I can’t imagine the effects it could have had if it had happened more aggressively and for years.

I believe that this inner confidence actually makes homeschooled kids better prepared for the real world than schooled ones.

Another thing. I’ve noticed my kids are softer than most kids and seem to be more loving. I sense that’s a result of them being homeschooled. When I come home, they run to greet me every time. They love doing things as a family. They really care about each other. And other people. They’re just softer than most schooled kids.

I personally think that being gentle, loving, more human is a very positive trait. But if you don’t then, yes, homeschool may let you down there. Then again, I don’t know any parent that wants to send their kids to a rough school.

Author: Asim Qureshi

Passionate about tech startups, home schooling, barefoot running and squash.

7 thoughts on “Do homeschooled children lack social skills and emotional intelligence?”

  1. Salam. Don’t you worry about your kids being very much more mature and responsible than kids their own age group? It could feel lonely being so smart at such tender ages.Being different is okay but I hope they don’t feel left out of kid activities because of their precociousness.

  2. Hey Asim, I really loved your blog and your methods of homeschooling your kids. Ive been following your blog and quora for a while and I wanted to ask whether your kids are into religious studies like namaaz and quran or they just follow the western education?

  3. Idk Wat 2 call u…
    Sir..? this blog post is really helping me. I seriously love ur writing. I am a boy at the age of Maryam (14). One thing I wanted to mention is that there are children who does both the normal schooling and study from the internet as a part time study. Do u think that it is fine? I know u r a CEO of a company and may not get time to reply me. But it would be great if u can reply.

  4. Hey, I really found your blog very helpful and really appreciate your efforts. I am new parent thinking to homeschool my kid who is 5 years old. But I really don’t know how to start and from where. Would you plz guide me how kids take exams? One paper at a time or several papers? How your kids take exams of higher level, what are the procedure for that? Plz guide me. Thanks

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