Do homeschooled children lack social skills and emotional intelligence?

Some kids are homeschooled because they were bullied or had other social issues at school. And, from my experience, these kids do tend to be a little socially challenged. And then people observe these kids and assume it’s the homeschooling that is the cause when often it’s the school that was.

My own 3 homeschooled kids, aged 10–14, are socially fine. My two daughters are highly-confident. My son is slightly reserved but less than I was at his age – and I went to school. They meet friends frequently, but, sure, they don’t meet 500 other kids for 150 days a year like school kids do.

In fact, a reason I started homeschooling the kids was that I spent some time with a homeschooled family and was shocked by the fact the kids were so confident. It blew away my misconceptions.

You see, homeschooled kids aren’t usually bullied, so they have an inner confidence that bullying often knocks out of school kids. And that helps them socially.

One of my daughters was briefly and lightly bullied when she used to go to school – and for those few weeks, her confidence collapsed. The problem was resolved after a gentle discussion with one of the teachers, but I can’t imagine the effects it could have had if it had happened more aggressively and for years.

I believe that this inner confidence actually makes homeschooled kids better prepared for the real world than schooled ones.

Another thing. I’ve noticed my kids are softer than most kids and seem to be more loving. I sense that’s a result of them being homeschooled. When I come home, they run to greet me every time. They love doing things as a family. They really care about each other. And other people. They’re just softer than most schooled kids.

I personally think that being gentle, loving, more human is a very positive trait. But if you don’t then, yes, homeschool may let you down there. Then again, I don’t know any parent that wants to send their kids to a rough school.

Author: Asim Qureshi

Passionate about tech startups, home schooling, barefoot running and squash.

19 thoughts on “Do homeschooled children lack social skills and emotional intelligence?”

  1. Salam. Don’t you worry about your kids being very much more mature and responsible than kids their own age group? It could feel lonely being so smart at such tender ages.Being different is okay but I hope they don’t feel left out of kid activities because of their precociousness.


  2. Hey Asim, I really loved your blog and your methods of homeschooling your kids. Ive been following your blog and quora for a while and I wanted to ask whether your kids are into religious studies like namaaz and quran or they just follow the western education?


  3. Idk Wat 2 call u…
    Sir..? this blog post is really helping me. I seriously love ur writing. I am a boy at the age of Maryam (14). One thing I wanted to mention is that there are children who does both the normal schooling and study from the internet as a part time study. Do u think that it is fine? I know u r a CEO of a company and may not get time to reply me. But it would be great if u can reply.


  4. Hey, I really found your blog very helpful and really appreciate your efforts. I am new parent thinking to homeschool my kid who is 5 years old. But I really don’t know how to start and from where. Would you plz guide me how kids take exams? One paper at a time or several papers? How your kids take exams of higher level, what are the procedure for that? Plz guide me. Thanks


  5. Hi asim,
    i am reading your quora answer from last two three months and then i read your blog about home schooling. I love this concept will going to try with my niece and want to talk you more in detail about home schooling. if you have any plan visiting India in future please drop me a mail. i will available for you any time and your daughter sabeen is very cute like a little angel and looks very similar to my niece. lots of love for your children. may Allah will bless them with best.


  6. Hey Mr. Asim, great blog. I noticed you have a tendency of weighing one big decision over another based on what each is important for, especially when the future plans are unclear. I’d like to get your opinion on something.

    Do you reckon, for a physics degree, a Chemistry A-level would be more relevant or a Further Mathematics A-level? Especially as both pretty much rank together in my list of Top Most Challenging Subjects.

    Also, does it sound realistically doable for a 17-year old to complete the entire Further Maths syllabus in one year – give two modules (AS) in June and two in November (A2) – and it would be the only subject I’m studying for that year? We’re talking A* worthy.



    1. Definitely Further Mathematics. Without doubt. You’ll need all of it for a physics degree.

      Yes, one year is doable. Danyak bad Maryam did their Physics A-level in 5 or 6 months flat. So why can’t you do FM in a year?


  7. Hi, thanks for the blog! I was wondering what you would suggest doing after 6th form (a-levels) for someone interested in computer science/programming instead of a uni degree – what would make up for a degree to top tech companies?


    1. Online courses, like udemy, but James if you’re going to be looking for a job having a degree helps a lot. You should be careful.


  8. Hello sir,
    Very happy to see this post , I’d like to try it with my kids but I have 3years old girl from where can I start with her?


    1. They face people today. In fact, Maryam is 15 and is employed in a tech company, working with colleagues. She was making outbound sales calls for a few weeks. She goes to group study sessions, has friends she hangs around with, etc… I see it less of an issue as for school kids that have learned only to socialise with people their age.


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